You can all wipe the beads of worry from your foreheads: I have managed to borrow a cable for my laptop so I am back in business.
Here than is the next thrilling installment of what Paul and I had for our anniversary dinner. The Boston Baked Bean post is to follow.
As I’ve noted before, I am not one for restaurant reviews. After all, one mans caviar is anothers Big Mac. I am also not in the position for reviewing food because:
a) I am overly critical at the best of times and
b) I am a supertaster so even the slightest over-salting of a dish can ruin the whole thing for me.
However, because this is an anniversary meal, and because Paul and I enjoy dissecting our daily events in minutiae, I am reviewing our meal and the restaurant just for you.
The Barn Brasserie is a converted barn (the name sort of gives that away), set deep in the rural Essex countryside. As with all converted barns, it exudes an air of the old meets the new. There is an off-to-the-side restaurant called the Fish Colony which specialises in local oysters from Mersea Island (they were on Rick Steins Food Heroes!) and Caviar. It has very high, vaulted ceilings from which hang huge wrought iron lights that resemble medieval torches. Make no mistake, if my house had 50 foot high ceilings, I would have lights like this too.
The staff are friendly and efficient . We were ushered to our seats (unfortunately right behind the cashier(Pauls comment: If you're like us and always feeling a bit out of place in these venues the staff can sense it like a dog senses fear. If you want good treatment, place your platinum card on the table before the meal begins)) and after we had ordered our food, each course arrived promptly, within five minutes of each table service.
As you saw yesterday, I ordered the Smoked Cods Roe with Toast for my starter, Paul had (on my insistence that we each have something different), Ducks Liver Parfait with Aubergine Caviar. The only complaint I could find about the starter was that I had too much roe OR too little toast. Still, it is a rare thing to complain about having too much food and not enough in this kind of restaurant.
Paul noted that his Parfait lacked punch and was ‘flabby’. Shame, because Paul adores Pate and I thought this would be a smoother and lighter. Personally, I can’t stand pate. I think it tastes (and smells) like cat food.
No sooner had our starter plates been whisked away than our mains arrived: Oyster Mushroom and Spinach Risotto Cakes for me, Bangers and Mash for Paul. Really, I have no idea why Paul would spend £10.00 on Sausage and Mash (Pauls note: because they looked good when I saw someone eating them the last time I was there!) when we have a hopper full of spuds and a freezer full of bangers, but there you go. He said the sausages were excellent and obviously ‘artisan’ made (which was later verified by the waitress) but the onion reduction was too much. I smelt the reduction as our plates were brought to the table and I silently hoped to myself that it wasn’t my food that smelt like that. Overly reduced sauces take on an almost molasses crossed with burntness aroma that I find highly unpleasant.
I ordered the Risotto Cakes because I adore Risotto but I have never eaten Risotto that hasn’t been made by myself and I also fancied the homemade potato crisps that went with it. OK, so it was a little heavily seasoned and Paul said it tasted too garlicky for his liking but at least there was two of the cakes and that was ample (particularly as I ordered chips on the side as well, it’s always best to err on the side of caution) even for someone with my appetite.
Obviously we made room for dessert though. What is the point of going out to eat at a fancy restaurant if you don’t order dessert?
The Coconut Creme Brule was heavenly. It had little deep fried banana crisps with it, that looked like overcooked potato chips but were really moreish (I was only given four). Paul ordered the ice cream (as always) and I demanded that we be given a sample of the chilli and mango sorbet. The waitress said that it was normally only served with the chocolate torte but she’d see what she could do. And, to my great surprise, she brought out a brandy snap basket filled with Banana Sorbet, Fig Ice Cream and Mango and Chilli Ice Cream! The Fig Ice Cream was as delicious as you could imagine it to be – they make all their own ice cream on site as it should be! They also had a rather outlandish sounding Liquorice Ice Cream which Paul and I had an intense discussion about: would it be jet black or greyish colour? We never did find out but I declared that I shall make some Liquorice Ice Cream myself and dye it with black food colouring. Imagine! Black Ice Cream! Forget virginal white ice cream, we all know that it’s filled with cream and eggs! It should be black, black as night and twice as mysterious!
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